CONFUSIONS OF A NEWLY-WED


I SIT HERE......ALONE
IN THE SHADY CORNER OF THIS WELL-FURNISHED KITCHEN
MY FINGER SPITTING BLOOD FROM A FRESH CUT WOUND
BEADS OF TEAR STARTED PACING DOWN MY OTHERWISE-PALE FACE.
AS MEMORIES REELED BACK TO MY WELL-PAMPERED CHILDHOOD,
I FELT A BAD ACHE IN MY HEART STRINGS........................................


NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO TOUCH A KNIFE
'COZ MY MUM COULDN'T BEAR TO SEE ME HURT.
NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO GO OUT ON MY OWN
'COZ MY DAD FEARED THAT I MIGHT GET LOST.
NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO SLEEP ALONE
'COZ MY SIS DI'NT WANT ME TO HAVE NIGHTMARES
NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO SKIP MY HEAD-ACHE TABLETS
'COZ MY GRANDMA CARED MUCH ABOUT MY HEALTH THAN ANYTHING ELSE....


FOR EVEN THE SILLIEST THING DONE,
FOR THE STUPIDEST POEM I WROTE,
FOR THE MEANEST PICTURE I DREW
I GOT BUNCHES AND BUNCHES OF APPRECIATION...


I COULD SHOUT,I COULD SCREAM
I COULD CRY AND LAUGH ALOUD
THERE WERE NO BARRIERS FOR MY EMOTIONAL OUTBREAKS.


I NEVER WANTED THE SUN TO SET
'COZ I HAD MANY A THINGS TO DO...
I READ BOOKS.....BLOTTING IN ALL THOSE FLIMS AND FANCIES
I WATERED THE PLANTS...MY EYES COLOURED BY THOSE GLITTERING BLOSSOMS
I LISTENED TO GOSSIPS..WONDERING WHAT JOY I WOULD'VE GOT AS A GOSSIPMONGER



MY LIFE WAS FUN....MY HEART WAS FULL......

THEN.....
A MAN CAME IN TO MY LIFE...MY PRINCE-CHARMING
EXCITEMENT.....THRILL....WONDER....
ALL THOSE EMOTIONS OVERWHELMED MY HEART
I WAS ENAMORED BY THE NEW LAMP THAT LIGHTED MY DREAMS
HEAVEN WERE THOSE DAYS...
BUTTERFLIES SWARMED PAST
ADDING A NEW MEANING TO MY LIFE......

I BECAME A WIFE......

IT SEEMS AS IF SECONDS AGO,
I TORE BACK MY HANDS FROM THE PROTECTIVE SHIELD OF MY DAD'S CARE
AND CROSSED ALL OCEANS TO JOIN MY SOUL-MATE.


THE SKY IS THE SAME HERE,NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL
THE TREES,THE FLOWERS,THE BIRDS OFFERS NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE.
BUT THE BONE-FREEZING WIND REMINDS ME
THAT IM FAR FAR AWAY FROM MY HOME-LAND....

MARRIED LIFE IS WONDERFUL...LIKE A COOL COZY DAY
BUT THUNDERSTORMS CAN APPARATE AT ANY MOMENT
IT'S LIKE A SUGAR-FREE COFFEE....BITTER SOMETIMES
BUT ADD FRESHNESS TO OUR DAY.......


STILL,
AS I SIT HERE,ALONE.......
MY FINGER THROBBING IN PAIN,
QUERIES,CONFUSIONS,DOUBTS...ECHOES THROUGHOUT MY MIND.
WHERE ARE ALL THOSE CARE??WHERE ARE ALL THOSE PAMPERING?
WHERE IS THE LAUGHTER?WHERE IS THE LOVE??

WITH A BLEEDING HEART,I REALISED.....
GONE WERE THE DAYS OF THE NEWLY-BORN LARVAE
SNOOZING WARMLY INSIDE THE COCOON
COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF THE WORLD AROUND IT.
NOWTHAT TIME HAS METAMORPHOSED IT IN TO A FULLY GROWN BUTTERFLY
ALL THE CARE,COZINESS AND CONCERNS DISSOLVED LIKE MIST.

I STAND ALONE,TORN AWAY FROM THE SHADES OF ANGELIC WINGS

SLOWLY,IT CAME TO MY SENSE
THAT NEVER CAN I STEAL BACK THOSE WONDERFUL MOMENTS
NEVER CAN I GO BACK TO THAT CAREFREE LIFE....

ALL I HAVE NOW ARE THE MEMORIES OF A GLORIOUS PAST
AND A GARLAND MADE OF TEAR DROPS,LONGING FOR A REVERSAL OF TIME.

A NIGHT-TIME TRAGEDY

The air was still;no movement at all
Silence unfolded her dark blanket allover
Even the sky seems to be sleeping
With all its lanterns off…
It’s a dry night,like my mind
Yearning for a drop of rain,
Or a drop of tear???
My eyes fell on a speck of gold-
A firefly caught in a spider’s web
Struggling for its dear life,it shuddered
As eight fiery eyes enjoyed the pain
In a fit of rage I wiped out the web
{To the entire dissatisfaction of mr.spider}
Just to help the teeny-weeny insect…
The web broke…
Proud to be a saviour,I looked around
To get a glance of the fire-fly
Bidding a thousand prayers to her guardian angel
But I was disappointed,it was not there
The night was same as ever,thickening darkness prevailed
Under a dry leaf I could see a sparkle
As I looked closely at my feet
Wings being torn away,it stretched,shriveled and shivered
And slowly slid silently in to the blackness
The bare night devoured it with great relish
Leaving me behind,with eyes brimmed with tears…