CONFUSIONS OF A NEWLY-WED


I SIT HERE......ALONE
IN THE SHADY CORNER OF THIS WELL-FURNISHED KITCHEN
MY FINGER SPITTING BLOOD FROM A FRESH CUT WOUND
BEADS OF TEAR STARTED PACING DOWN MY OTHERWISE-PALE FACE.
AS MEMORIES REELED BACK TO MY WELL-PAMPERED CHILDHOOD,
I FELT A BAD ACHE IN MY HEART STRINGS........................................


NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO TOUCH A KNIFE
'COZ MY MUM COULDN'T BEAR TO SEE ME HURT.
NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO GO OUT ON MY OWN
'COZ MY DAD FEARED THAT I MIGHT GET LOST.
NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO SLEEP ALONE
'COZ MY SIS DI'NT WANT ME TO HAVE NIGHTMARES
NEVER WAS I ALLOWED TO SKIP MY HEAD-ACHE TABLETS
'COZ MY GRANDMA CARED MUCH ABOUT MY HEALTH THAN ANYTHING ELSE....


FOR EVEN THE SILLIEST THING DONE,
FOR THE STUPIDEST POEM I WROTE,
FOR THE MEANEST PICTURE I DREW
I GOT BUNCHES AND BUNCHES OF APPRECIATION...


I COULD SHOUT,I COULD SCREAM
I COULD CRY AND LAUGH ALOUD
THERE WERE NO BARRIERS FOR MY EMOTIONAL OUTBREAKS.


I NEVER WANTED THE SUN TO SET
'COZ I HAD MANY A THINGS TO DO...
I READ BOOKS.....BLOTTING IN ALL THOSE FLIMS AND FANCIES
I WATERED THE PLANTS...MY EYES COLOURED BY THOSE GLITTERING BLOSSOMS
I LISTENED TO GOSSIPS..WONDERING WHAT JOY I WOULD'VE GOT AS A GOSSIPMONGER



MY LIFE WAS FUN....MY HEART WAS FULL......

THEN.....
A MAN CAME IN TO MY LIFE...MY PRINCE-CHARMING
EXCITEMENT.....THRILL....WONDER....
ALL THOSE EMOTIONS OVERWHELMED MY HEART
I WAS ENAMORED BY THE NEW LAMP THAT LIGHTED MY DREAMS
HEAVEN WERE THOSE DAYS...
BUTTERFLIES SWARMED PAST
ADDING A NEW MEANING TO MY LIFE......

I BECAME A WIFE......

IT SEEMS AS IF SECONDS AGO,
I TORE BACK MY HANDS FROM THE PROTECTIVE SHIELD OF MY DAD'S CARE
AND CROSSED ALL OCEANS TO JOIN MY SOUL-MATE.


THE SKY IS THE SAME HERE,NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL
THE TREES,THE FLOWERS,THE BIRDS OFFERS NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE.
BUT THE BONE-FREEZING WIND REMINDS ME
THAT IM FAR FAR AWAY FROM MY HOME-LAND....

MARRIED LIFE IS WONDERFUL...LIKE A COOL COZY DAY
BUT THUNDERSTORMS CAN APPARATE AT ANY MOMENT
IT'S LIKE A SUGAR-FREE COFFEE....BITTER SOMETIMES
BUT ADD FRESHNESS TO OUR DAY.......


STILL,
AS I SIT HERE,ALONE.......
MY FINGER THROBBING IN PAIN,
QUERIES,CONFUSIONS,DOUBTS...ECHOES THROUGHOUT MY MIND.
WHERE ARE ALL THOSE CARE??WHERE ARE ALL THOSE PAMPERING?
WHERE IS THE LAUGHTER?WHERE IS THE LOVE??

WITH A BLEEDING HEART,I REALISED.....
GONE WERE THE DAYS OF THE NEWLY-BORN LARVAE
SNOOZING WARMLY INSIDE THE COCOON
COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF THE WORLD AROUND IT.
NOWTHAT TIME HAS METAMORPHOSED IT IN TO A FULLY GROWN BUTTERFLY
ALL THE CARE,COZINESS AND CONCERNS DISSOLVED LIKE MIST.

I STAND ALONE,TORN AWAY FROM THE SHADES OF ANGELIC WINGS

SLOWLY,IT CAME TO MY SENSE
THAT NEVER CAN I STEAL BACK THOSE WONDERFUL MOMENTS
NEVER CAN I GO BACK TO THAT CAREFREE LIFE....

ALL I HAVE NOW ARE THE MEMORIES OF A GLORIOUS PAST
AND A GARLAND MADE OF TEAR DROPS,LONGING FOR A REVERSAL OF TIME.

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